To the Class of 2020

To the Class of 2020: 

My heart hurts for each of you. I know there are so many things you were looking forward to: dances, what feels like last memories with friends, that special moment you get your diploma. You are being stripped away of the culmination of years of effort. I cannot imagine how that must feel. 

So rather than share my photo of my graduation (no one wants to see that), I thought I’d give you some practical thoughts to consider as you embark on the next steps of your life. Some things I wish someone would have told me. 

1. It is ok not to know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. I loved learning so much that I considered majoring in almost every class I took. Particularly philosophy after getting to debate my paper on the Trial and Death of Socrates Oxford-style. I wish someone would have told me that it was ok to feel those things. I believe, yes, that every person has a purpose. My caution is that I would not get wrapped up in your career being your purpose for life. There’s so much more to you than that. You had a life before your career and you will have one after your career. It is who you are throughout that process that matters. So, take a deep breath, and know it is ok not to have everything figured out. 
2. It is ok to make mistakes, or “fail”. Failure is not final. In many ways, I thought for a while that the first college I chose to go to was a mistake. (I selected that one for the free ride, but there’s so much more to college choice than that). What I realized, though, was that particular college helped push me out of my comfort zone. I learned to talk to people that thought differently from me. I met people that challenged my faith. But faith not challenged, is it really faith at all? Now I can say I’m stronger in the things I believe. I can guarantee you if you feel like you’ve failed, that’s ok. Some of the greatest people fail multiple times. Get back up and grow from it. 
3. It is ok to hurt. 18-20 were some of the most hurtful times of my life. I lost my grandpa during that time and it rocked me. You all are losing so many things, too. There are so many memories you don’t get to make. It is ok to hurt. You do not have to have it all together. It is ok to feel everything you’re feeling. 
4. Don’t rush dating/marriage. If you feel like you’re going to die alone, please take a look at all the crazy people in Hollywood and even in your life that have a spouse. If they can find one, you can, too. But don’t rush God’s timing. I’ve said this to others before, the right thing at the wrong time, is unfortunately the wrong thing for that time. I can tell you from personal experience, the good guys are worth waiting for. 
5. Have fun, but prepare. I know a lot of what I’ve said are things not to feel bad about. I believe that it is important to take your time making decisions. I think you should have fun and really live, and I still believe that to be true for my age as well. But don’t take that as neglect of preparation. There’s time for late night talks with your friends, movies, and all the junk food you can imagine. But there also should be time you set aside for the serious. Your brain is at one of its peak times now, use it. 
6. I’d recommend learning to manage your money. If you don’t know how, find someone you trust to help you. Don’t overspend your way into financial ruin. If you aren’t sure college is for you, don’t take out a bunch of money in student loans to go. Take some time and pray about it. The college will still be there when you’re really ready. 
7. Learn to pray. And I mean really pray. Not just 1 minute “bless the food prayers”. Learn to truly seek God and the other stuff I’ve talked about will sort itself out I promise. 
8. Learn to develop real friendships. Friendships that will survive if you move 1,000 miles away. Friendships that will hurt with you when you hurt. Friendships that love without reservation. Friendships that make you better. 
9. Read the Bible. Learn what you believe and why you do. Study the Bible and really be able to articulate what matters to you. By doing that, show people God’s love. You can reach so many people just by being kind. At the end of the day, we’re all flawed people. Show some grace. 
10. Consider finding a mentor. Find someone or some people a little further on down the road that are where you want to be. Find someone that has qualities you want to have like: grace, wisdom, joy, thoughtfulness, etc. Ask them questions, and study their actions. 
11. Learn to control your words. There’s so much about this in the Bible, so I would recommend even doing a study on it. But watch what you say. Words can’t be taken back once they’ve been spoken. 
12. Through all of this I encourage you to grow. Continue to grow throughout your life. Put good in. There are so many books/podcasts/programs out there for growth. Find a way to improve yourself everyday. None of us are perfect, but we can all get better at something every day, can’t we? 

Congratulations class of 2020. I have no doubt with the hard times you’ve been put through, you will come out of this so much stronger. ❤️