Learning from Lincoln

   "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Proverbs 25:11. Earlier today, I had the choice to respond or react to a negative person. Someone told my mom she was too old to go back to school. This statement angered me so much! I wanted to, without thinking, tell this person exactly how I felt about them, tell them how ignorant that I thought they were, and just completely say my mind. That was my first instinct. It would have been a "reaction" that would have made my character even worse than the person that said it. The person that said it probably did not even realize what they were saying.
   I stopped and thought to myself, how many times have I said something ignorant like that without thinking? Sure, maybe something I said was not that mean, but I do not know that person's motives. That is, after all, a common assumption made by negative people. A common assumption that so many of us believe is that we are too young, too old, too dumb, too smart, too ugly, too anything to accomplish what we want. The list goes on and on. We buy into this negative all the time! That's exactly what negative people want, too. Negative people want you to be just as negative as they are. They say things, even subconsciously, that want to bring you down to their level. They are dream-stealers, trying to get you to be as mediocre as they feel.
   Too often, we let these negative people rule our thoughts and actions. For example, what if I had posted a Facebook status saying exactly what I thought in that moment of anger about that person. What good would it have done? What if I had called them by name publicly? What would that have caused? Sure, for a moment it may have made me feel better. But that would have been a fleeting feeling, that would only ruin my reputation and character. It would have made me negative, and it would have put me in a completely negative mindset. I would have been letting that person dictate the way I felt. I would have been letting a reaction win, rather than taking time and simply responding.
   So how do we, in our own lives, cut the negative and not be the people that spur these problems? Like the verse I mentioned at first, we "fitly speak" our words. We choose correctly what we say and how we say it. Is this always easy? Will we always succeed? Maybe not, but we should definitely try. I guarantee by trying, we will become better versions of ourselves. If someone is struggling, like how my mom feels she is with school, we should be uplifting. If someone is working hard toward a goal, do not say they cannot do it, but rather encourage them to work harder. And if people are being more successful than you? Rather than be jealous of them, why not have a conversation with them and learn something, so that you can be more successful as well? It will only benefit us to learn from those smarter than we are. And I guarantee, the smartest people in life, they are not done learning.
   If we are the people being positive, how do we correctly respond to those being negative? Well, I feel that if you think it was a matter that needs to be addressed, go to them privately. And when you do, do not come at them with the same negativity you received. The only thing that kills negativity is positivity. If you come at them angry and just wanting to get things off of your mind, you are only going to cause a lot more problems. Put yourself in their shoes and realize you do not know everything yet either, and you may make mistakes.  It is very important to respond rather than react. The Bible says, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath," (James 1:19) and "Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him." (Proverbs 29:20). When we allow others to dictate our emotions, we give them control of our attitude, and even our actions. We need to take control of our emotions, and we do that when we think on matters before we respond. I even heard one time that the great Abraham Lincoln used to write letters to people who made him angry....then destroy them. He would do that to state how he felt, but then he would take control of his emotions and actions and destroy them. He would not ever share the letter with the person who had angered him, and by the time he spoke with them, he knew how to correctly handle the matter, or he may not have even addressed the issues at all. Think of how awesome a man he was, and how much negativity he was sure to have received, and he did not let it run his life. He learned to respond to negative events in his life, and became arguably one of the greatest Presidents we have ever had.
    One final point I want to make is, if you have some person in your life who is chronically negative, avoid them at all costs. The only way that you will grow is to surround yourself with people who want to grow as well. It is also a lot easier to learn to respond if the people you are surrounding yourself with are "responders" as well. Negativity breeds negativity, and the people you are around mold your way of thinking. Find the "Lincolns" in your life, and learn all you can from them.
  

Getting Out of the Noise

   Psalm 40: 1-2 says, "I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings."
   I read these verses, like normal, and was about to move on to verse 3, when I noticed that "an horrible pit" had an "a"  beside of it. Since it caught my eye, I looked to the middle of my Bible where it said what that a meant. It said, "Heb. a pit of noise". I stopped my reading, and just pondered on this for a minute.
   "A pit of noise". Now, I am not by any means some Hebrew scholar, but when I see the phrase, "a pit of noise", I think of some dark, decrepit dungeon, that is overwhelmed by the noise of people. Not necessarily just random noises, but I think of people shouting, I think of people discouraging you, maybe even someone tearing you down. When I think of a pit of noise, I think of maybe in that dark dungeon, your own thoughts overwhelm you. Negative thoughts, discouraging thoughts, that create a noise even louder than someone shouting in your ear. Maybe no one else is in that dungeon, but you and your own insecurities and fears.
   So, while I was reading this, those verses struck my heart. If you will notice, his goings were not established, and his feet were not upon that rock, until the Lord brought him out of that pit. This made me wonder what noises were holding me back in my own life. This made me question what "miry clay" was keeping me from progressing down the path the Lord has for me. Is there something I am listening to or letting overwhelm me?
   If we are honest with ourselves, we all can say that there are probably some negative people in our lives, people who want to tear you down, and stop you from reaching your goals. They think that just because they have not accomplished their goals, no one else should either. With these people, we need to avoid them at all costs. It is kind of like the Bible verse that says, "evil communications corrupt good manners". In the same way, negative thoughts corrupt positive thoughts, and negative actions corrupt your positive goals. There are some people who may overwhelm you with their "noise", but if you want to get to the place that God has for you, you have to take action to avoid that kind of influence, and God will bring you out of that situation.
   More important than those around us, though, is the negative noise we often place upon ourselves. We can have the most positive, uplifting people around us, and still be wallowing in our pit of noise. For example, in my life, for so long i've been told that I cannot do it all. I've been told that it is impossible for someone to be successful in their career, as a wife, as a business-owner, as a writer; etc, (fill in the blanks with anything you could want to be/accomplish) all at one time. For so long, it has been ingrained in me that we have specific things we are to do, and we cannot multi-task these roles. I'm not placing blame on anyone-you choose what you believe-but, irregardless i've had these false assumptions for a while. For a long time, I have just assumed that I was the "intellectual type of girl" (And really what does that even mean?) that goes to school, has a career, and knows nothing about home-making, or really anything outside of the field I have chosen. I never would admit that, but when asked about certain things, I would simply say I was not "good" at whatever it was. Insecurities and doubt of my ability just validated my negative thought process.
   How terrible is it to have those kinds of attitudes? In fact, some of you, like me, have let fear and doubt win, and may say to yourself, "She is crazy. You cannot possibly have it all. You cannot be everything for everybody." And that's where we go off track: Don't be everything for everybody, be what you want to be for God, and then yourself. If we let go of those noises we keep on replay all day long, and finally be determined to reach our goals, we can succeed. We should figure out what we want, and work towards it in the time we have. Think about things you may have wanted to accomplish for a while, but something, some noise has held you back. What if you, with everything you had, tried to accomplish your goals? What is the worst thing that can happen? Failure? Failure is not always a bad thing, and sometimes it even gives you perspective on how to change what you are doing to be successful the next time. And what happens if you succeed? You can be all of the things God has for you. Like I said before, once he got out of that pit, the Lord established his goings. (And the word "goings" is plural, which indicates more than one...it can be more than one thing) The Lord led him exactly where he needed to be, once he was out of that pit. And, just like the verse said, The Lord brought him out of it. If we placed these doubts and fears aside, and trusted the Lord, He is more than willing to help us, and to give us direction. I am by no means perfect either, but this is something that I am working on in my own life. It is so important to identify the "noise" in our lives, and to move from there. You can be everything God has for you, you've just got to get out of the noise.