To the Class of 2020

To the Class of 2020: 

My heart hurts for each of you. I know there are so many things you were looking forward to: dances, what feels like last memories with friends, that special moment you get your diploma. You are being stripped away of the culmination of years of effort. I cannot imagine how that must feel. 

So rather than share my photo of my graduation (no one wants to see that), I thought I’d give you some practical thoughts to consider as you embark on the next steps of your life. Some things I wish someone would have told me. 

1. It is ok not to know what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. I loved learning so much that I considered majoring in almost every class I took. Particularly philosophy after getting to debate my paper on the Trial and Death of Socrates Oxford-style. I wish someone would have told me that it was ok to feel those things. I believe, yes, that every person has a purpose. My caution is that I would not get wrapped up in your career being your purpose for life. There’s so much more to you than that. You had a life before your career and you will have one after your career. It is who you are throughout that process that matters. So, take a deep breath, and know it is ok not to have everything figured out. 
2. It is ok to make mistakes, or “fail”. Failure is not final. In many ways, I thought for a while that the first college I chose to go to was a mistake. (I selected that one for the free ride, but there’s so much more to college choice than that). What I realized, though, was that particular college helped push me out of my comfort zone. I learned to talk to people that thought differently from me. I met people that challenged my faith. But faith not challenged, is it really faith at all? Now I can say I’m stronger in the things I believe. I can guarantee you if you feel like you’ve failed, that’s ok. Some of the greatest people fail multiple times. Get back up and grow from it. 
3. It is ok to hurt. 18-20 were some of the most hurtful times of my life. I lost my grandpa during that time and it rocked me. You all are losing so many things, too. There are so many memories you don’t get to make. It is ok to hurt. You do not have to have it all together. It is ok to feel everything you’re feeling. 
4. Don’t rush dating/marriage. If you feel like you’re going to die alone, please take a look at all the crazy people in Hollywood and even in your life that have a spouse. If they can find one, you can, too. But don’t rush God’s timing. I’ve said this to others before, the right thing at the wrong time, is unfortunately the wrong thing for that time. I can tell you from personal experience, the good guys are worth waiting for. 
5. Have fun, but prepare. I know a lot of what I’ve said are things not to feel bad about. I believe that it is important to take your time making decisions. I think you should have fun and really live, and I still believe that to be true for my age as well. But don’t take that as neglect of preparation. There’s time for late night talks with your friends, movies, and all the junk food you can imagine. But there also should be time you set aside for the serious. Your brain is at one of its peak times now, use it. 
6. I’d recommend learning to manage your money. If you don’t know how, find someone you trust to help you. Don’t overspend your way into financial ruin. If you aren’t sure college is for you, don’t take out a bunch of money in student loans to go. Take some time and pray about it. The college will still be there when you’re really ready. 
7. Learn to pray. And I mean really pray. Not just 1 minute “bless the food prayers”. Learn to truly seek God and the other stuff I’ve talked about will sort itself out I promise. 
8. Learn to develop real friendships. Friendships that will survive if you move 1,000 miles away. Friendships that will hurt with you when you hurt. Friendships that love without reservation. Friendships that make you better. 
9. Read the Bible. Learn what you believe and why you do. Study the Bible and really be able to articulate what matters to you. By doing that, show people God’s love. You can reach so many people just by being kind. At the end of the day, we’re all flawed people. Show some grace. 
10. Consider finding a mentor. Find someone or some people a little further on down the road that are where you want to be. Find someone that has qualities you want to have like: grace, wisdom, joy, thoughtfulness, etc. Ask them questions, and study their actions. 
11. Learn to control your words. There’s so much about this in the Bible, so I would recommend even doing a study on it. But watch what you say. Words can’t be taken back once they’ve been spoken. 
12. Through all of this I encourage you to grow. Continue to grow throughout your life. Put good in. There are so many books/podcasts/programs out there for growth. Find a way to improve yourself everyday. None of us are perfect, but we can all get better at something every day, can’t we? 

Congratulations class of 2020. I have no doubt with the hard times you’ve been put through, you will come out of this so much stronger. ❤️

Pray Through The Attack

                A bit of a warning before you read—I’m going to take you through a personal battle in hopes I can help you.

This is a really strange time in our world. I think we can all agree to that. But has anyone else felt specifically attacked? Yes, I used a very strong, but very real word. This word seems to be often avoided in the Christian culture we have today. After all, we are not currently dealing with persecution and martyrdom in the U.S. We live relatively comfortable lives compared to the rest of the world, and we even have the luxury of worshiping God from the peace of our living rooms.

                So why do I bring up attack? I’ve currently been reading through “Fervent: A Woman’s Battle Plan to Serious, Specific, and Strategic Prayer” by Priscilla Shirer. It has been the punch to the gut that I have definitely needed, and I highly recommend if you feel attacked currently that you read it. It is interesting though, that the days I have really needed certain chapters, I have felt intensely discouraged to read it. Other things have conveniently gotten in the way of reading some things that I desperately needed to hear.  A small, subtle attack on my mind on days when I’m weak.

                I have learned through this book that the enemy desperately wants us to also get distracted from our communication with God. If he can cut us off from our communication source, we are much more susceptible to his lies. You see, as I started to read this book, I received a new medical diagnosis that I did not want to hear. I was told that I have PCOS. After years of visiting doctors for different concerns, one visit with my new doctor and some lab tests, and the condition was clear.

                Interestingly enough, after seeking out answers, I was angry with the result I had. I was hoping it was just a simple issue, not something that could potentially have long lasting effects on my health and family. It is funny to me that when I finally had an answer to what was happening my initial response was anger. I already have to deal with another medical condition, Lynch Syndrome, isn’t one enough?

                In my self-pity, at first I could not see the attack that was being made against my mind.  You see, no one wants to pray when they are angry. Is it ok that I am transparent enough to say that? I know God has a plan, and I know that His ways are perfect, but what words do I even say when my mind is filled with questions instead of answers? More so than that, who wants to read a book about prayer when prayer is the last thing you want to do?

                Perhaps you are dealing with something similar. Maybe you are going through a battle so personal you also don’t have the words to say when you pray. Maybe this whole COVID-19 situation has thrown your world upside-down, either through a work situation or isolation, that you feel helpless. Maybe you have more questions right now than answers. Can I encourage you for a moment?

                If you have made it this far with me, I encourage you to stop right now and pray. Tell God how you are feeling. Yes, He already knows, but I can assure you that you will feel much better letting it out to the God of the universe, and He wants to hear it from you. Quit hiding behind the lie that you have to have it all together. As humans, due to the fall, we experience stress and pain that we were never built to handle. Acknowledge that you are being attacked right now, that you are in a battle for your mind, and ask God to transform those impossible situations. John 16:33 says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” We have a unique opportunity to take our struggles to the One Who can defeat any enemy we have. I encourage you to pray when you do not feel like it, because it is during this time that we need it the most. When you do not feel like praying is often when you are attacked, and you need someone to fight those battles for you.

The Bible says in John 10:10, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” Our enemy wants to steal, kill, and destroy our lives. Those are intense words, but it is an intense battle. If our enemy cannot send us to hell, he wants to try to destroy our peace in the lives we are living now. I want to encourage you, if you have felt like me, reach out to someone. Have someone pray with you. You can reach out to me even if you need prayer. I can tell you that I also have felt defeated, discouraged, and disappointed. It is ok to feel those things, but it is not ok to allow those things to run your life. We are made to live in abundance through the One Who gives us life.

No matter what attack you are facing, my encouragement to you is allow it to bring you closer to God. Pray when it doesn't make sense. Pray when it's hard. Pray when you are angry. Pray when you are sad. Most of all, pray through the attack.