A Plan Worth Waiting For

   I know my blog is usually all about life lessons that I have learned, but usually I do not delve too much into my personal life. Well, I believe today is a special day, and I would like to make an exception to my self-imposed rule. One year ago today, I got the amazing opportunity to start dating my best friend. I know that phrase is a cliche that people use a lot, but it really was the case with us. We had been friends for a long time, and over the course of a year and a half or so we became closer. Initially, I never contemplated us dating. I just loved talking to him, and he understood me in a way that few people ever have. He even challenged me in a way that I had never been challenged before. He even loved traveling like I did, and we went a lot of random places together. Even New Orleans for the NCAA championship game. 
   During that time, we were both, I believe, in a place in our lives where we were really trying to figure out who we were.  I didn't date anyone during that time, and I'm so grateful that I had a time in my life, just to figure out who I was, and where I was supposed to be headed. I'm not sure when our feelings grew from friendship to something else, but I knew I did not want to mess anything up by rushing into a relationship. We both did our best to pray about the matter and try to do what was right. And there was a big space of time when we just enjoyed our friendship, and we just took our time further getting to know each other. It was a long time before we actually decided to date each other. We simply waited, wanting peace about the matter.
   There is something really special about waiting for something. Waiting for a good relationship taught and spared me from a lot. If I would have grown impatient, if I would have rushed into some other relationship, I would have missed getting to be dating my best friend. I could have missed being able to know what it is like to be in relationship with someone who pushes you to be the best you possible, someone who is respectful of you, and someone who wants to grow and achieve amazing things with you. I'm so thankful I have gotten the opportunity to be with someone who appreciates me (and even deals with my nursing school emotional nightmare). I'm so glad I did not miss out on this blessing. I'm glad I had time also, to get to know Caleb outside of a dating relationship. I didn't have to worry about him putting on his "best" on in front of me, because we were just friends for so long. I got to really know who he was. 
   I like looking back on all of this, because I am so grateful for the journey we have already had together, but also because I so look forward to seeing where our future is headed. So, looking back, I wanted to share a poem I wrote a while before we started dating. It was on one of those days when waiting did not seem easy. I remember feeling alone. A lot of my friends were dating, and for a moment I felt like waiting for the right person was not worth it. This was sort of my conversation with the Lord. It really started as a pity party, and somewhere towards the middle, the Lord reminded me that He knew what was best. And looking back now--i'm so glad that He did. He did exceedingly, abundantly, above what I could have ever imagined. I'm so glad for His restraining and guiding hand that led me here. So here it is:


"Perfect Plan"

Lord, I have prayed earnestly,
That You'll send him my way,
A Godly man who loves me,
Who from You will not stray.

I have tried to do what's right,
And wait for what You want,
Yet, He's still not in sight,
And doubts and worry haunt.

I wonder if I'm enough,
What do I have to share?
Maybe it is just too tough,
Someone for me to care.

And, please, do not take me wrong,
I don't want just a man,
I have waited oh so long,
Lord for Your perfect plan.

It's not that I don't trust You,
It is just hard to see,
Others, what's right, do not do,
They're happy as can be,

Help me the right way to take,
Even though it's so hard,
Let me do it for Your sake,
My heart I have to guard,

I know, Lord, Your help I need,
To put this in Your hand,
I want to follow Your lead,
Please, Lord, just help me to stand,

Remind me that it's worth the wait,
That You won't steer me wrong,
That Lord, You are never late,
Even if it seems long,

Big pictures are hard to see,
Not knowing what to do,
But what Your best is for me,
Makes this worth going through,

And one day, when You see fit,
And send me Your choice man,
All of the praise You will get,
For Your so perfect plan.