Yesterday was a big day for me. It was the day that I have been working toward for a long time--my graduation from Somerset Community College's Associate Degree Nursing program. One interesting part of all of the commotion from yesterday was the fact that I was running late in getting to graduation. I was not late to the actual ceremony, but as graduates we were supposed to be there at 6:45 (actually by that time), and I arrived sometime after 7. On the way there, I got stopped by a red light, and I knew it would take a long time for the light to change, so I managed to find a back road to get around it. Then, there was some kind of fender-bender blocking both sides of the road, so I found another back road, and got back on the main highway. I hit a few more lights, but waited, and tried to multitask getting things done while at the stoplights (with my fiance's help as well). I somehow managed to get past all the obstacles, and ran inside, taking my place in line.
All these events seem insignificant at first, just another day, another normal set of events; however, to me these moments were a mirror image of how I got to graduation in the big scheme of things. It was not easy getting to graduation. At my pinning ceremony my card even had the verse Psalm 61:2, which says, "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." I cannot tell you how many times I have been overwhelmed these past four years.
I feel like all the events that lead to graduation were really just one back road after another, one moment of waiting after another, and trying to get things done, when it almost seemed impossible. You see, I started off my college experience at Berea College. I did great academically, but that place was not where I was supposed to be. Putting it as tactfully as possible, I did not feel like I could adequately grow in my walk with God at that institution. Then my grandfather passed away, and I was deeply hurt. I tried to be strong for my Mom, all while taking a pretty difficult pre-nursing course load. With God's help, I finished that first year strong, and decided to weigh out my options.
So, I took a different road, and I came back to Somerset to get my degree there. It was a lot different going from staying in the dorm, to moving back home and balancing more work hours with school. A lot of people did not understand my decision. Many people saw it as me throwing away my future, and a four-year scholarship. I was the girl that was supposed to do something great with my life, and to many people, I was not going to do that coming to Somerset. Looking back on it, that was one of the best decisions of my life, and if I had stayed at Berea, I would have been compromising my future, and I have no idea where I would be.
I spent a year taking courses before doing the nursing program. I actually took some time trying to determine if I would stick with nursing, or get an English degree. Another interesting piece of information, the pre-conference you have to do before starting the nursing program, I actually stumbled upon the list of dates the day before the last day was available. So, it was definitely an act of God getting me into the program. I chose nursing, because I did not think I had to have a degree to allow me to write. I would, however, need a degree to be a nurse.
Then the actual program started. A lot of things happened during this time, I moved from the only place I'd ever lived, I faced personal struggles, and many other things changed during this time. It was rough, and I won't take the time here to explain all the stressful times, sleep deprived nights, and times where I thought about just giving up. Those kinds of things come with anything worth the struggle, and I am grateful for the opportunity to fight it out, and get through it.
So, all of these events really mirrored me getting to graduation. What, then, do I take away from it all? I was overwhelmed, and God lead me to a higher place. There were so many twists and turns getting here. People told me I was making the wrong decision. There were people who didn't support me, as well as those who prayed, asking God to just lead me where I should be. The higher place was hard getting to. Nothing, like most of my life, has been just handed to me. I've had to fight, work hard, and make decisions, and put trust and faith in God. And I finally accomplished a goal that I have had for a long time.
Is this, though, the last higher plane I will reach? All of these events, they were a small part of a bigger journey. Each struggle, each triumph, each battle, each win, changes a part of you, and transforms you into who you were meant to be. God does not leave us on this earth merely to fight one battle and stay on a plateau the rest of our lives. We were all made for more than that. We all have our own sets of untapped potential, but if we live our lives dwelling on the fact that we have won some battles, we'll never see what all God can do through us.
There's a lot more for me to do now that graduation is over. It's both scary and wonderful all at the same time. It's scary because I know there will be more mountains for me to climb, there is more for me to do, and i'm sure i'll be taking a few more detours, and may even have some waiting periods. People may not understand some things that God may be calling me to do. That is where faith really comes in though! The wonderful part about it all is knowing that doing more is really living. If I can spend my life really living, how much more of a difference will that make? How much more can I do for the God who saved me and gave me this life, if I really put effort into it? What God-given untapped potential have I not seen yet? I'm sure all of the same questions can apply to whoever is reading this. God has something amazing for you, but what are you doing to get there? As I wrote on my whiteboard at home yesterday, "You did it! Enjoy the mountain, but look for the next one, this is just the start!"
I'd like to also share a poem I wrote a little while ago, during these last four years.
A Poem Based on Psalm 61:1-3
From the end of the earth,
Will I cry unto thee,
My heart is overwhelmed,
Oh Lord, will You lead me,
To a much higher place,
I know You will be,
A shelter, a haven,
Far from the enemy,
And when my heart breaks,
Will You then make it whole?
When i'm down, upset,
Will You then calm my soul?
And when I almost fall,
Could you help me to stand?
And through all my hurt,
Please, just hold my hand?
Storms, pain, hurt, surround,
Nothing seems to turn out right,
Darkness encircles me,
Lord, lead me through the night.
Although it's hard each day,
On You I will depend,
You have not failed me yet,
You are my dearest friend.
So hear my cry, O God,
Attend unto my prayer,
Keep me in Your shelter,
And heal my hurt in there.
And He brought me through!!!!
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