Live Happy For Hannah

   One morning this week, I was having a very challenging nurse day. I started questioning exactly why I had decided on nursing school. The thought of being a door greeter at Wal-Mart was becoming more and more appealing. (And I certainly would try to find a way to bring back those happy face stickers!) I decided to blare some K-LOVE and muddle through getting ready. 

   I walked to my jewelry chest looking for some earrings to brighten my day a bit, when I saw it out of the corner of my eye. My butterfly bracelet was hanging on the cherry rack urging me to pick it up. This isn’t just any old bracelet. It’s the bracelet that represents the short life of one of the teens that was in mine and Caleb’s youth group. 

   The first time I picked up the bracelet was when Caleb and I visited Maine in October.  We had just come back from Cadillac Mountain and all its beauty, and decided to purchase some gifts to bring back with us. We had stopped at an end of season sale, when I saw a rack of beautiful butterfly bracelets. I love butterflies, and thought what a great gift these might make for our teen girls. Caleb helped me count out upwards of 30 of these bracelets and off we went on our way. 

   It is amazing how God places small things in our lives ready to encourage us in another season. One month later, in the midst of a challenging season, one of those teens passed away in an unexpected car accident. Little did I know, butterflies were one of her favorite things. 

   Hannah was such a strong teen. She was one of the teens who was willing to help in whatever way was needed. She had a work ethic years beyond herself. I will never forget how she volunteered at a lunch we had for fundraising. She was one of the last ones to leave after making sure everything was cleaned and put back into place. An hour later as my husband and I went through the McDonald’s drive through for a snack, she was the one giving us our food through the window. Hannah never let us know she would also be working after the fundraiser—she just jumped in and made sure things got done. 

   Hannah was planning to use this work ethic to be a nurse. She was caring and kind, the type of person this profession needs. As I saw this bracelet on a day I didn’t want to be a nurse, I felt incredibly overwhelmed by the opportunity I have. I have the opportunity to be a nurse and have the attitude and spirit that Hannah would have. I picked up the bracelet and put it on, knowing that each day I have a choice for what attitude I choose to use. 

   We have the opportunity each day to approach life fully, with a good attitude. We are not promised tomorrow, but we are given the chance to make our lives count, no matter how short. We have the chance each day to choose to live happy. 

   

Hand Over the Control

How quickly do we let defeat enter our lives? 

I’ve been overcoming some anxiety in regards to my upcoming colonoscopy. For those of you that don’t know my background, I was diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome last year, so this is a yearly event for me. As this year’s procedure approaches, I find myself fighting the same battle of worry. 

After listening to a sermon podcast on this topic, I wonder, why am I so apt to relying on myself than trusting in Christ? I can’t perform the procedure myself, I can’t provide healing of my genetic make-up to myself. By worrying over this, I have allowed myself to be defeated. Victory is not in my hands. 

In sharing this, I want to help whoever is choosing to read this to see that we have a God who is capable of doing more than we realize. I know everyone has something in their life like this. I’m not the only person in the world that has a battle. In fact, your battle or challenge could quite possibly be worse than mine. That’s why I want to encourage anyone dealing with something similar. I want you to know that you have a God that loves you, that doesn’t want you to be defeated, and that cares deeply about everything you face. There is a God that is bigger than any challenge you walk through, and He won’t make you walk through it alone. You can trust Him, even when things are dark or feel unfair. 

Don’t allow defeat to enter your life. Often, I believe we impact the outcome of our lives by trying to control things ourselves. We allow defeat to come in when we remove the trust that belongs to God. We allow fear to creep in when we have more faith that our circumstances will overwhelm us, than our faith that God has our best in mind. Don’t trust your situation more than you trust the shelter God gives. 

So, I encourage you today, hand over the control. Let go of defeat. Give God a chance to work a miracle in your life. 

If you need prayer for something you’re going through, let me know. There is strength in walking through this life with the encouragement of others. 

One Moment

Life is a funny thing isn’t it? 

One moment you’re 16 years old, watching Gilmore Girls and dreaming about your one-day writing career, and the next moment you’re 25 sitting on your couch, with your work laptop doing work at home, mentally drained from your Director of Nursing position you obtained by getting a Bachelor’s in Science degree. One moment you’re 14 writing about your insecurities and how unworthy you feel, and the next moment you’re marrying your best friend and one of the most incredible men on the planet at 23, who reminds you every day of how worthy you are and can be. One moment you’re 10 years old following your Pawpaw around everywhere, telling him your dreams, and trying to convince him that, yes, a woman can be President, and if Hilary Clinton doesn’t beat you, it’s going to be you. The next moment you are 19 years old telling your Pawpaw that you’ll do your best to make him proud, and that it is alright for Him to go be with Jesus. One moment you are 13 years old, listening to all the wrong things, and wondering if you’ll ever make a difference, and the next moment you are 24 living in a different state and trying to reach the world with your husband. One moment you’re 15, unsure of what people will say, but you decide to give your life to Jesus, and the next moment you are 18 faced with decisions that test you to see if you will stay true to that promise. One moment you are 17 asking your mom what she thinks is best for your life, and the next moment, you are 25 still doing the same thing. 

I have learned that we all have these moments. Our life is filled with so many decisions each day that make us who we are. We all have difficult times that make us question everything we are, everything we want to be. Life has a way of throwing curve-balls, and daring us to fight--if we want to keep going. Thoughts of anxiety and insecurity can fight us from the inside, demanding us to rise above or sink deeper into those thoughts. Battles of all kinds from health concerns to financial struggle can attack at the most inopportune time. But I tell you this, FIGHT. No matter what is thrown at you, FIGHT! I was just looking back on my past, my life, and I know at the end of the day, I want it to be said that I fought to make each day count. I want to know that I fought past any obstacle, challenge, or internal struggle, and came out of it better. As you’re reading this, remember, you cannot get back any of your past. You cannot undo the decisions you have made. You can, however, choose to fight and choose to make every day of your life matter. You can get better and rise above whatever you are facing. (And yes, I know, it may not seem that way in the middle of the battle. It may not seem that way especially when you are fighting against defeat that seems to be inside of you, but you can get better.) You were called to be something wonderful, someone unlike anyone else. God gave YOU certain gifts, abilities, and talents unique to you, so that you can fulfill a purpose more amazing than you could've imagined. So I hope that, one moment you’re reading this wherever you are, and the next you move forward and make each day matter. 

Youth

Ecclesiastes 12:1 ,"Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them;"

About a month ago, I was scheduled to undergo a procedure. When I made it back to the holding area, I had an interesting conversation with the nurse who was preparing me. To make small talk, she asked what I did for a living. I explained it to her, and she responded, "Wow, aren't you too young for that much responsibility?" I'll be honest, I wasn't completely sure how to respond, she was much older than me, and I fumbled together some kind of sarcastic (and what I thought was comical) comment. 

Since having that conversation, though, I have been thinking about where I am with my age. I'm 25, completed a Bachelor's degree, working in a management position in my career, and just purchased my first home, fully funded by only my husband and me. I felt proud of my accomplishments in comparison to the typical stereotype of millennials like myself. 

That thought made me realize there is a bigger problem at hand. The problem with that thinking is that I was comparing myself to the standards set for my generation. This triggered my thoughts, and I wondered, maybe the problem with the millennial generation is not their quality, but rather, the standard that people expect that they will maintain. My generation was trained to go to college, essentially waste that time by partying before reality hits, and cross your fingers that you actually get a job in your field (or at least a job you can tolerate that also pays your bills). My story was different than that, and I was responsible for working and handling reality once I embarked on my post-high school journey. Truthfully, at 25, 7-ish years out of high school, people should expect for me to function at a high level, not the other way around. By now, I should have learned to provide for myself, maintain a job, and function as an adult. This does not seem to be the norm, however. I know life circumstances always come, but why is there such an acceptance of this generation failing? 

Thinking back on generations prior, it was not an abnormal thing to hold much responsibility at a young age. Many women have had children headed toward their teen years by the time they are my age. Raising a human life is no small task. Even today, there are people my age that fight and offer to sacrifice their life for their country. That sacrifice is no small thing when you have your life ahead of you, and you have no guarantee of coming home after each battle. All the major battles of this country have involved passionate people of my age stepping up to bring our nation together. 

Considering these things actually makes me feel the opposite of proud of what I have done in my short time. There is a lot more that I can do with my life, and it would be a shame to agree with that person and start believing that I should limit myself based on my age. I really believe that for everyone, old or young. Age is just a number, and I would rather spend each moment of my life making an impact than believe I needed to wait to move forward until I got a bit older. As a generation as a whole, we need to quit limiting ourselves to the ideas that have been placed upon us. There is much more to life than working, coming home, eating, going to bed, and repeating the next day. Each person on this planet has a unique purpose, and this can be used to bless so many people. 

If you truly consider your age, whatever the number may be, you will realize truly how little time you have. Each moment you spend doing nothing, is a moment you have lost. I encourage you, don't look back on your life and wonder "what if" , but rather think until your last day, "What's next?". --That is truly living. 

Get To

So, I have the best husband ever. Can I just say that? 

Today I had a very important appointment. It was a GI follow up for Lynch Syndrome (see prior post for details). The main thing involved is the GI system, so it was a big deal. I've been thinking over and over about the situation, so I knew I would get some questions answered here. God provided the nicest physician, and he was so helpful! Even said eating a vegetarian diet was a good plan for me! I'm ahead of the game! 

Then he told me that each year until I'm 107 (I added in that last part lol, but each year until I meet Jesus) I'm going to have to get a colonoscopy done. For me, that's a major lifestyle change. Most people don't have those until they're 50. I made a bunch of jokes to Caleb about drinking the solution they give you, and us getting team colonoscopies when he turns 50.  On my way home, I brought up to Caleb though, I guess in fear that I was a bit intimidated by the information, that I was upset that this is going to be something I have to do every year. 

Caleb stopped me there and said, hon, this isn't something you have to do, but rather, get to do. You get to figure out about all this in time to do something about it. --That thought really convicted me. It made me think about all the things I get to do. I get to get preventive treatment on a disease relatively unheard of in other parts of the world. I get to be a step ahead of the game. I get to make good decisions now, realizing the importance of it. I get an advantage that my father, aunt, and grandmother didn't have. 

Outside of that condition, though, what else in my life is a get rather than a have? I get to go to church on Sunday, and freely worship the God in which I believe. I get to live in a free country because of the sacrifice people made. I got to vote this past year as a woman because of the sacrifice people made to give me that right. I get the opportunity to go to work and be productive and helpful to my family. I get to live in Indiana, close enough to the city to get what I need, and far enough away to have peace. I get to be a part of a family that loves me and cares for me. I get the amazing opportunity to read the Word of God in my own language. I get the opportunity to serve in our church. I get to live this specific life that God gave me, and is so much bigger than me. I get to be a tool in His plan. 

Thank God Caleb mentioned that. I have so many "get to's" and so many reasons to be thankful. I challenge everyone reading this, think of your "get to's" and thank God he gave them to you. It'll change your life in a matter of moments! 

And for any of you going through anything, remember, your greatest struggle will be your greatest victory. 

Even Now, He's Still God

   I woke up Sunday morning angry. I did not feel just passively flustered, but instead I felt I was to the point of explosion. I had read my Bible, did my morning routine, but I could not shake the sense of sheer anger I was feeling. Great way to head to church, isn't it?
   Let me back up before you all start to really question my mentality. Back in December, I had a health situation, and long story short, it led me to complete genetic testing for Lynch Syndrome. Lynch Syndrome is an inherited abnormality in your genetic make-up that predisposes you to multiple cancers of varying risks, the highest of which is colon cancer. This situation is not a cancer diagnosis, but a major risk factor in developing one of many cancers in your lifetime. My test results came back positive earlier this year.
   I've got to say, I took the news well. My mindset was positive, and I knew that knowing this risk will give me options. I transitioned to a Vegetarian diet. I set up all my preventive physician appointments. Knowledge is power, and I was going to do all I could to get all the knowledge on this as possible. With the exception of one breakdown, I thought I was doing well. Nothing can hold me back, and in the name of Jesus, I will prevail!
   I was doing great with this, until I got a call from a life insurance company. I've been working to get life insurance coverage, and I thought this particular company would be great. The call stated that since I still have a colon, I am ineligible for their coverage. I laughed it off at first. How funny is that! Denied coverage for having a colon, what a great story! I began relaying the story, but each time I told it I grew a bit angrier. Laughter turned to bitterness, and I then began relaying the story with complete disdain.
   It is funny how quickly we can spiral from positive thoughts to sheer anger. It is amazing how we can go from praising God to questioning His plans. I went from seeing the situation as a way to overcome and possibly help others to slowly inside questioning the fairness of it all. I'm only 25 years old---why should I have to go to all these physician appointments? Why do I have to constantly think about what i'm eating and the effect it is going to have on my body? Why does my genetic make-up have to be a risk factor for these kinds of problems? Why do I have to bear this particular burden?These are just a few of the many angry questions I spiraled into in the course of a few days.
   So, i'll be honest, I went to church feeling pretty sorry for myself, but mostly indignant about my current life situation. I went through the service as normal, and then pastor gave the title of the message which immediately told me God was thinking of me. The title of the message was, "He's Still God". Our Pastor told the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. What stood out to me was the reaction of Martha, Lazarus' sister, in this story. I've always related to Martha, especially in the story where she is working when her sister, Mary, is worshiping God. Her attitude has always resonated with me. For some reason, I had never noticed her reaction in this story. John 11:21-22 says, "Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God wilt give it thee." Martha had faith that despite the circumstances, even now, right in the moment, God had control. This verse shows me that she knew this did not take Him by surprise, and even though the situation was beyond difficult, God had a plan.
   So imagine how someone so angry at her situation must have felt during a sermon like this? Truly, I needed to hear something about having a good attitude and counting my blessings, but instead God gave me words of hope and reassurance. This message showed me that God is not in the business of always telling us to get over ourselves (even when we need it). God is in the business of giving us reassurance, and helping us overcome, even when we do not deserve it. God has done so much for me--I am ashamed of the anger I've had. But God is so loving, that He did not want me to stay in anger. God wanted to remind me that He is still in control, and that I can depend on that. What a message that was for a hurting child. I'm telling you, this particular service was like God was right there, hugging me, and telling me that it was all going to be O.K. I pray all of you have moments like these with God, it is so wonderful when He gives you more than you deserve.
   All this being said, I knew God wanted me to tell others about this. As Hebrews 4:15 says, "For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are; yet without sin." God knows the hurt, fear, anger, sadness, and everything we feel. God knew with Martha and Mary that they were sincerely grieving the loss of their loved one, but He did not leave them in despair. God wanted them to know they could depend on Him, and that He has the best plans possible for your life. I know that each person reading this has something different they are overcoming. Each person has their own set of struggles, and maybe you are struggling with your feelings about it. Maybe you are angry, fearful, or depressed. Give it to God! Even now, whatever you are facing, He is still in control! There is not a situation that you could be going through that He isn't big enough to solve. Romans 8: 38-39 says, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." If nothing can separate us from His love, what can we accomplish and overcome when we allow that love to work in our lives?

An Open Letter to Republicans

    To all Republicans I know--This election year has really hurt. I've had many people question my intense distaste for the Republican Candidate for President. I believe if you saw things from my perspective, you'd understand why.
   Back in the year 2000, as an 8 year old girl, I started following elections. We even had a mock election in our school. My Mom and Pawpaw were Democrats voting for Gore, and as the most important people in my world at the time, I certainly thought that's how I needed to vote. I went to a public school, and the stances of each candidate were explained to me. The whole school was involved, and I fell in love with everything about it. It was then, as an 8 year old, I decided I would rather choose Bush, and I became a Republican. I promptly told my Pawpaw that I would run for President someday, sharing my new political views, and I asked if he would vote for me. He quickly told me no, as I was not only a Republican, but also a woman. (Yes, a Democrat said that!)  I've never been the type to be deterred, so I looked further into politics, and I read all that I could. I fell in love with the Reagan-era, and championed each election, even when I couldn't take part.
   I stood for the Republican Party in every way I could. In my Freshman year of college, I initially attended a private liberal arts school. Multiple people told me it was wrong to be a Republican, so I transformed a t-shirt I had to say, "I am a Conservative Republican". I wore it everywhere, along with my, "I only date Republicans" t-shirt. I was so proud of the party I identified with, and I could not wait for the moment that I would get to be involved in ushering in someone to be my generation's Ronald Reagan. What made it even better was the fact that my birthday happens to be January 20th, the day they inaugurate presidents.
   That being said, each year of my adult life it seems that the Republican Party deteriorates. This year, I believe everything I thought about the Republican Party has fallen to pieces. This year should have been the GOP's year to win. We were facing Hillary Clinton. All we needed was a strong candidate. We needed a true statesman, someone to champion American values. Someone who could be a beacon for Republican women to know they were supported, and someone to usher in the value of minorities in Republican voting. Instead of any of those things, what we got was Donald Trump.
   Why did we pick him? I believe it is because the GOP is at the weakest it has ever been. The platforms are still great platforms, but the GOP continues to struggle to connect with people my age. Instead of seeing strong people with a moral code, they see no differences in lifestyle from the Democratic Party. Republicans have stricter ideals for spending, healthcare, and big issues as a platform, but as real people they don't follow that same code. People aren't stupid, and my generation loves explanations. If we aren't backing up our viewpoints with our lives what is the point? If we champion things like cutting government spending, but bankrupt ourselves, people don't believe it. If we are not okay with abortion, but treat women in general like trash, people don't believe it. If we say we want to fix immigration issues, but we treat those of a different race like lesser members of society, PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE IT. If we ridicule Bill Clinton for his wrong actions, but have conversations about actions we've taken similarly, people don't believe it. So, what is the issue with the GOP? People don't believe us anymore. People don't believe the platform because they see the lives of our people. This is the problem I have with the candidate we have selected, but to be fair, it isn't just Donald Trump. It is the Republican Party as a whole right now.
   All of that being said, I'm not saying we're any worse than Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, what I'm saying is we should be better. We should be much better. We all know that Obamacare doesn't work, and the debt this country has doesn't work. What are we doing to change it? Are we saying we support one thing, but condoning another? This is the underlying problem here. As much as it is hard to say, it is not just Donald Trump. Truthfully, was anyone really surprised by the awful things he said? Not at all. That is the hard part about seeing this election unfold. We aren't shocked, and we aren't concerned. We're apathetic solely in the name of trying to mindlessly defeat Hillary Clinton.
   Unfortunately, however, we're at a loss of choices here. For those of you hoping for a third-party candidate, how I was initially, it isn't going to happen. Right now, we're trapped in a two-party system. Although this election has shown me what the party is doing, it's a bit too little too late. We have two options. Choose wisely, and unfortunately, there are going to be repercussions to either of the candidates, one just may be a little less. The lesser of two evils is still evil. I think with this kind of situation that maybe it will give America a chance to wake up. I hope we take it.  And a reminder, no matter who is President, it doesn't change Who is in charge. Our world is not over because the GOP selected a bad candidate. Sometimes we need a wake up call. I'm hoping everyone uses this as one. 2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." It's not a great situation, but there's always hope.

Why?

   On Sunday mornings in our Sunday School class, our teacher has been using the life of Gideon as an example. For any of you that have read the Bible, it sounds like we would be learning of great faith and overcoming fear and doubt. However, this Sunday, I got a different view of Gideon that planted a seed in my own life.
   As our teacher was reading through a passage on Gideon, He came to Judges 6:12-13, which says, "And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, thou mighty man of valour. And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told of us, saying, did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us into the hands of the Midianites." Our teacher continued, but these verses especially stuck out to me, and they have for this entire week.
   God appeared to Gideon, and instead of responding in faith, he questioned God. This Bible hero, who is even mentioned in Hebrews 11 as one of the people with great faith, questioned if God was even really with him. I'll be honest, I never really noticed this about this story before. I had no idea that someone with such faith started out so faithless. A part of me was disappointed, until I realized that this is something I myself do without even realizing it.
   This week, I have held multiple conversations about things that just do not "make sense". Genuinely good people getting bad test results, families losing loved ones, people disappointing others, and the list continues. I think to these conversations, and in ways, I thought on more than one occasion, why did this happen? Why would God allow these people to have so much pain? I have mirrored Gideon's reaction on more than one occasion. There are things in life sometimes that just do not make sense, and my heart often aches when I see impossible situations for those close to me.
   With all this being noted, I did see another thing within the text of Judges 6. God did not give an explanation of why Israel was in captivity. He did respond to Gideon, though. Verse 16 says, "And the LORD said unto him, Surely I will be with thee, and thou shalt smite the Midianites as one man." God never promised that He would let us know exactly why bad situations occur. God is not obligated to give us a detailed message of why everything happens the way it does. What God does promise, is that He will be there. Psalm 34:18 says, "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." God wants to be present for us when we are facing challenging situations. God wants to heal our brokenness, and wants to lead us through uncomfortable situations. So even if you cannot understand why something is happening, God's presence is there.
   I do not know what you might be facing right now. Maybe you have a story like Gideon's, in the process of being written. You may be lacking faith right now. You may be disappointed about something happening in your life. I will tell you this, though, that situation never took God by surprise. In fact, God knows exactly what happened, and wants to lead you through it. God wants to hold you as a loving father holds his upset child. What you're going through is huge, it's real, and seems like too much for you. More importantly, however, God is huge, He's real, but that situation is not too much for Him. He can take care of anything. You just have to place it in His hands.


Why?

When your darkest time on earth is here,
And all that you feel is doubt and fear,
When you ask why, no answer is found,
You're just searching for some solid ground,
This was never, what you thought would be,
From the pain, you just want to be free,
There is just one thing you need to do,
Cling tight to Him, He'll lead you through,
He's behind the scenes, when you can't see,
Fighting battles and making you free,
When you're tossing about, fighting your fear,
He wants to hold you, and keep you near,
When you're broken, He's right by your side,
He'll lead you through whatever betide,
So don't lose faith, don't give up the fight,
God will lead you, He will use His might,
It may be hard, at this time to see,
But from this turmoil, you will be free.


--Ashley Allen

Called or Not?

   Earlier today, while sending some messages back-and-forth with my sister-in-law, I was told of a sermon she had heard on the radio today in Kentucky.  I'm not sure who the preacher was, or what the entirety of the message contained, but she stated something heartbreaking that the preacher stated. He said that a preacher's wife is not called into ministry. He stated that her role is "just" to be submissive and follow where her husband leads. He basically stated that the wife has no important role to accomplish anything. Although I did not hear this sermon, the words she pointed out pained my heart. Why? Because I know by him saying that, some woman will believe him, and question if they are really called to be in their husband's ministry or not.
   The reason for me even to address this situation is for one reason only. I feel that our churches, in a battle against feminism, are trying to weaken women. Our churches today often hide the value of women by assuming they cannot perform even menial tasks. As opposed to elevating them in love, we weaken them.
   Where does this problem come from? I believe the main problem with churches today is that we have changed the definition of submission. I have often heard men preach Ephesians 5:22, which says, "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord." This is in the Bible, and it is an important verse, but it should not be stated without following up with verses 25 and 28-29, "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man yet ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord  the church." If a man is truly loving his wife as his own self, and cherishing her, will she have any problem following his lead? If a woman knows her husband would do anything for her and their family, what problem would she have with him guiding their household? If he would do anything for her, that means he sees her having an integral role in their family. Submission is not a bad thing if done in a Biblical, and respectful way. Submission really is following the leading of your husband as he is led by God, but in many churches today we have given it an entire different meaning entirely.
   I also believe churches have painted a picture of women as weak, incapable creatures. Let's take a look at what the Bible actually has to say about that, though. In Proverbs 31, which is the chapter everyone points to as basically the ultimate guide to being a woman (and that's a pretty accurate depiction), verse 17 says, "She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms". The chapter mostly devoted to saying what a woman should be depicts that woman as strong. Proverbs 31 goes on to say in verse 25, "Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come." Not only is she strong, but this woman is honorable. Not deplorable and worthless like the picture is often painted today.
   So, why did I say all of this, and why did that preacher's words strike such a chord with me? Because, as the wife of someone preaching the Word, I must ask myself, am I called or not? Now, before I lose all of my really conservative friends, let me explain what I mean by that. While I do not believe that I am called to preach the gospel in the way that my husband does, I do feel called to minister and be a help to people. I do feel as if I am called to be a blessing to all those I come in contact with. I do feel that I am called to assist in helping my husband spread the news of Jesus Christ in any way we can. I do feel as if I am called to share in his ministry. Let me share a Bible example. In Hebrews 11, the "faith chapter" as we often call it, it speaks of Abraham's great faith to gain a child, and an heir. But what does it say about Sarah in the same chapter? In verse 11 it states, "Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised." Here we see that Sarah had her own relationship with God. Sarah did not just blindly follow Abraham. Sarah herself judged God faithful, and followed the vision that God gave not only Abraham, but the vision that God gave her. What would this story look like if Sarah did not share in the faith and vision?
   This topic really just means a lot to me, because from my point of view, if women are weak, everything that surrounds them becomes weak. Including the churches they go to. If a woman is weak, and does not really feel called to take part in her husband's ministry, you can guarantee that ministry will be weak. As I heard at the wedding I attended this weekend, a quote by Matthew Henry, "Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”
  


**As a side note, I must say, I am so blessed in that I have a husband that values not just me, but all women in his life as they should be, and a church that teaches Biblical principles uplifting women.  Without these things, I would not be where I am today!

Through Faith

   It has been a little while since my last blog post. I have had a lot going on in life, and in my mind, that I just wasn't sure when would be the appropriate time to write, or what I should even write about. I've always held to the standard that I would not write unless God directed my hand. I think one reason I have halted from writing is due to the fact that God has been speaking to me specifically on an issue. It is a lot more difficult to write about something piercing your heart than something that may pierce someone else.
   A few evenings ago, I had it on my heart to read Hebrews 11. As I was reading, one specific verse stuck out to me. Verse 6 states, "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." As I thought to myself, I considered how often people stop reading after the "believing that he is" part. Then I realized that I am the one who typically does that. And God began to show me some things about the plan He has for me.
   Looking back on times, I feel like my faith has been small. Yes, through faith I have received salvation. I have had enough faith to give pieces of my life to God. I feel like I have had moments of surrender, and moments where I truly wanted to entrust Him with everything. That is a wonderful place to be! But that should never be the end of a Christian's goals for faith. What I just described is not a faith mentioned anywhere in Hebrews 11. Mature faith in Christ goes beyond partially yielding control of your life to Him. Faith can and should challenge you.
   So what does having a mature faith entail? These are all things I am just now learning. It means fully trusting God when you do not understand the facts. When speaking of Moses, Hebrews 11: 25 says, "Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season." Moses could not have known what would have happened to him when he forsook all that Egypt had to offer. With one decision, he gave up his financial security, his status, and any rights to ruling he could have had. If you consider the facts, that decision does not make sense. He did not wait to make his decision until he had alternate routes of income, status, or a way to keep the throne. He immediately made his choice. Looking back on my life, I would have to say it has been difficult for me to do so in the past. The more control I try to take over my life, the less control I am giving the Lord. Each time I fret about a situation of family, finances, or even simple fears, I am taking control of the situation into my own hands. Even if I pray about it, if I do not yield control to Him, how much faith to do I really hold?  It would be the equivalent to me asking a friend to stay at my house while I was on vacation, but me coming home every hour to see if everything is in order. What would the real point be? How much faith would I be putting in that friend?
   Mature faith also means realizing that God wants to reward you. As I stated earlier, the ending of verse 6 says, "and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."  I believe that sometimes in the Christian life, we get burdened down with situations, and we assume that it should always be that way. If that were so, why would Jesus have risen from the dead? As it says in John 10:10, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." An abundant life does not arise from troubles, although they may come. An abundant life comes in spite of trouble, when you realize that God has the best for you. I'm tired of Christians painting the Christian life as one of sorrow. Why do so many people leave the church? I feel like it is directly tied with their faith not being strengthened. And faith becomes strong when you realize that God has amazing things for you, even if the way there is not easy. God has all the power needed to change whatever circumstance that you face! Why would He not step in and work in the life of His children?
   Mature faith also, however, comes with realizing your need to diligently seek Him.  Psalm 37: 5 states, "Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass." God expects commitment from us. This part is probably one of the most difficult ones for most Christians. This one requires effort. Faith hinges on the relationship you have with the Lord. If you do not get to know Him, how can you know that you can fully trust Him when the facts are standing against you? If you do not get to know Him, how can you know that He wants to reward you and give you an abundant life? Getting to know God is so much more than going to church out of habit or ritual. Getting to know God requires that you seek Him.
   So all of these thoughts struck my heart especially this past week. God is doing a lot of amazing things in my life. He has opened doors for Caleb and I, and although there are plenty of things that I could write about being fearful of, or still in prayer for, all I can say is I know God is working to extend our faith. How do I know this? Jeremiah 29: 11 states, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." God has great things in store, and has an expectation for my life. I was not placed on this planet just to take up space. And what is the great part about that? Neither was anyone reading this. God has great things for you, and He can help you build a great faith. A faith like what is mentioned here:

Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: And others had trail of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

Father's Day--to All Girls with Absentee Fathers

Father's Day-- To all you girls with absentee fathers....

As Father's Day approached when I was growing up, I would cringe a little bit each time. Instead of bringing me joyful thoughts about my father, I think each year I would grow a little bit more bitter about what I did not have. You see, my own father was not present for any major event in my life. Honestly, he was not present for any event in my life and I could count the number of times I saw him in my childhood on one hand. So, I grew up hating Father's Day and all it stood for. To make matters worse, my grandpa, the only father I ever truly had got very ill on Father's Day of 2010. That day was actually the last one he ever had at home. 

My grandpa's passing made matters worse in a sense. I could not understand why the only Dad I really had was taken. It's not something I ever spoke about, but the feeling of anger kept growing. I'll be honest--it made me very kind of hesitant to trust any man period. How can you trust when the only father you ever had was taken, and the biological one left you. Both are hard to deal with on different levels and raise all kinds of ugly and tormenting questions about your self worth. 

So before I go on about the darkness and ugliness of it all, I have to explain what happened in my life and how I have managed to grow past Father's Day struggles. Somehow, through a process I cannot even explain, God started a healing process in my heart. How did this happen? 

1) I realized who I wanted to become. 

A few years ago, I had a very serious conversation/prayer time with the Lord. I know it may seem crazy, but this time I spent in prayer lead to me realizing the type of woman I wanted to become. And that started with getting over the bitterness that I had. I realized that to really grow, you have to let go of past hurts. If you don't, they will consume you, and you will have nothing to give anyone else. If you want to move forward in life you have to forgive those that have wronged you. Is it an easy process? No way. But when you can truly forgive someone who has wronged you, that says something about your character, and you will be able to move past a lot of other situations. 

2) I thought of my future. 

After I realized who I wanted to become, I started thinking about what I wanted my future to be like, and what I wanted for my kids one day. With that, I started guarding my heart in that I set a standard for what type of men I allowed in my life. You see, if you just allow any man into your life, and he treats you badly, it is going to add to the hurt you feel. At first in my life, I did date people who if I would have continued with would have caused me much heartache. But thanks to my Heavenly Father, I did not choose that route. I learned to only allow men in your life that truly and not in word only have a heart for the things of Christ. If he loves Christ, he is going to love you much better. In turn, he'll love whatever kids you have in the future better. You can break the cycle, and it feels so good when you do. Knowing what it feels like to truly be loved by someone who has your best interests at heart is a wonderful feeling. It may take some time, and there may be a waiting period, but it will help heal your heart. 

3) I realized the love of my Heavenly Father. 

Someone once told me that you see God like you see your father. That's why it's so beyond important for fathers to fulfill their role. I happen to believe this to be true. I trusted in Christ when I was fifteen, and I accepted Him fully into my life at that time. But there were still some things I didn't grasp until a few years later. One of those things is God will always be there for you. I don't know what your earthly father may have done to you, it may be horrible, but I do know that God will never do that to you. An earthly man may have chosen to leave you, cut you down, not do what he should have to help you through this life, but God will never do that. God provides a rest and peace to all of His children. He can comfort you when no one else can. God is not only a God of judgment, but He is also a loving Father who wants to provide healing to His children. Fall in love with Him, and give Him your heart and He will show you how to mend it. God has given each of us blessings, and he even raised up men in my life to help lead me along, like my uncle, my pastor, my husband and even his dad. God will provide what you need to help you heal. You only need to start seeing Him as who He is, rather than through the lenses of who your earthly father was. 

I know Father's Day is not a good day for a lot of people. This world has so much hurt, and there have been so many wronged children. I hope this helps somebody whose father isn't there. I hope you realize you are loved, and that the Creator of all the Universe wants to be everything your father wasn't. 

And to all you Fathers out there who really do your part, have a blessed day! 

-Ashley Allen 

What Can God Do

   I woke up today with a to-do list that seemed almost impossible to accomplish. I started making a list of things to be done before the wedding, and it seems each time I do this, the closer it gets, the more there is to do or purchase. Immediately defeat began to creep into my thoughts. I'll be honest, it was very fast how easily I became discouraged about the tasks at hand.
   I grumbled to myself, in frustration about the things left to do. I had a very self-deprecating inner monologue about how I should be much better at juggling all the different things in which I take part or hold responsibility. In the midst of this, God stopped my thoughts, and left me with one simple question: What can God do?
   I have been focused on what has not been done, what I cannot figure out, and what I can do about it, but I have left one major point out of the equation. What can God do? I say I put my trust in Him, but have I really been? Have I really been following the verse that says, "Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you?" How amazingly loving are those words, but without even really being conscious of it, I have been rejecting those words.
   I came across a Bible verse (being stopped in my tracks, I figured I should go to the Bible about this), in Deuteronomy  3:22-24. It states, "Ye shall not fear them: for the Lord your God, he shall fight for you, And I besought the LORD at that time saying, O Lord God, thou hast begun to shew thy servant thy greatness, and thy mighty hand: for what God is there in heaven or in earth, that can do according to thy works, and according to thy might?" How beautiful is that! The thought hit me that God loves me so much, he fights for me. He can do anything He chooses to, and He does it out of His great love for me.
   Those verses literally were exactly what I needed. It was no coincidence that I happened upon them, either. There are so many times that if we just allow ourselves to slow down, God will give us exactly what we need for each day of our lives. He wants to help us through each even miniscule moment of our lives. Why? Because those moments aren't miniscule to Him. God cares. He cares about where you live, where you work, what you do with your time. He is just waiting for allowance to work in our lives.
   I think back to right when I first graduated nursing school. I thought I would never find a job. I submitted applications everywhere with no response. I got really frustrated. Then I realized something VERY important. Maybe God allowed all those places to say no, so I would be working where I needed to be. Because I allowed God to lead me, I started off my nursing career in a good environment. I just had to realize that God knew what I needed. And I am reminded of that lesson again today. God knows all the details to all of my to-do list problems, and He can solve them!
   So, back to the question at hand. What can God do? Looking back on my life, God can heal all hurt. God can lead you where you need to go. God can help with overcoming obstacles and climbing mountains. God can be the dearest friend. God can take a fearful little girl from Brodhead, Ky, lead her the right places, and constantly transform her into a thriving child of God. And that is just in my own life. He can do amazing things for anyone who will simply be willing to trust Him and give Him access in their life. He won't force you, but He will willingly help the willing. So, imagine where you want to be, what you need help with, that one obstacle you cannot get past. Give it to God! Find out what God can do, and allow Him to do it!